Back to December
by The infamous hogwarts jaguar00
Summary: In this one, Ben and Nellie were together but then Ben left her, for Lucy. But then Lucy left Ben when the Judge wanted her, so now he's going back to Nellie, but she doesn't want him anymore. I hope it all makes sense. Songfic! Fluff! Enjoy!


**Ok, so in this one, Ben and Nellie were together but then Ben left her, for Lucy. But then Lucy left him when the Judge wanted her, so now hes going back to Nellie, but she doesn't want him anymore. I hope it all makes sense.**

**A/N- I know I should update the Titanic one, but I am seriously stuck on it! Help wanted!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm Tim Burton and Taylor Swift. I don't own the bloody thing! Oh, and I changed one line slightly to fit the story. **

* * *

_I'm so glad you made time to see me_

_How's life? Tell me, how's your family?_  
_I haven't seen them in a while _

* * *

As he pushed the door open, her dusty shop was revealed, and a wave of nostalgia hit him, causing him to stumble back.

It had been 12 years since he had left her. 12 long years. He had left her for his Lucy, but she had left him for the Judge. It was too late for to go back to Nellie now, she had a new life, a new husband and family.

* * *

_You've been good, busier than ever _

_We small talk, work and the weather_

_ Your guard is up, and I know why _

* * *

She enters the room, her back rigid and her face impassive, but he knows she's scared of being hurt again, and he hates to see her like this. He smiles at her, and she nods her head in acknowledgement, before sitting down in a booth and he sat opposite her.

An awkward silence filled the room, until she cleared her throat and began a polite conversation. He told her of his plans to open a barber shop, as his stall in the market was becoming very popular with the locals, but the weather was so unpredictable. He could see she was guarding herself, answering slowly and not truly trusting him.

* * *

_Because the last time you saw me_

_ Is still burned in the back of your mind_

_ I gave you roses, and you left them there to die _

* * *

The last time he had visted her was to leave her. He didn't want to hurt her, but he loved-thought he loved- Lucy, and Nellie was going to marry Albert, she wouldn't have cut of her engagment for love. Albert had money, and she needed it. He tried to leave her softly, and she tried not to cry, he gave her roses. The red reminded him of her fire and her favourite colour was red, she said it reminded her that love can be dark, but it so pure and beautiful. He didn't understand, but that didn't matter,as long as she was happy.

He gave her the flowers, before leaving her. She threw them at his back as the door closed and he heard them thud on the door and a sob escaped her mouth, making him regret his decision, but he couldn't take it back now, it was too late.

* * *

_So this is me swallowing my pride _

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night_

_ And I go back to December all the time _

* * *

"I'm so sorry Nell. For everything. You didn-don't deserve it." He said when the polite conversation had ran out and they were avoiding the others gaze.

"Jus' cause you're tellin' me 'is now, don't mean I can forge' wha' ya did ta me Ben." She whispered, and he noticed how weary she was, how tired her voice sounded, but she didn't sound unforgiving.

"I'd go back Nell, never leave you. I was blinded by yellow hair, yellow hair that vanished when a better offer came along." He said, lifting his hand, placing it over hers, but she pulled back.

* * *

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you _

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine _

_I go back to December, turn around and make it alright _

_I go back to December all the time _

* * *

"Ben, I won' forge', and I don' think I could forgive ya. Ya lef' me. I may have be'n engaged, bu' I ne'er loved him. Swee' man an' all, bu' useless. If ye'd have asked, ya know I would have married ya in an instan', surely ya know 'at much?" She said, with a heavy sigh, but he shook his head.

"No. You know I couldn't ask you. You need a good life Nell, a happy, worry free life. I had nothing to offer you, no money or home. We may have been in love, but that can change, end, break. Lucy already has these things, I moved in and got the money. If we had married, we would be homeless, and I couldn't let my Nellie live on the streets." He said, trying to look her in the eye, but she kept her face down, staring at the marks in on the table.

* * *

_These days, I haven't been sleeping _

_Staying up, playing back myself leaving _

_When your birthday passed, and I didn't call _

* * *

He stared at her, hoping for some kind of response, but he was met with silence. She wasn't ignoring him, simply thinking over his words.

He was so desperate for her to believe him, to think that they could fall back to being friends at least. He hadn't slept in days, he was so scared she would reject him, leave him alone on the streets. He couldn't bare that.

Albert was dead, few years back, so Ben knew she was alone, with a child to raise as well. He would help, solve it, give her everything she needed. When he left before, he had left for good. No visits, no cards at Birthdays, presents at Christmas. Of course, he always got her something, he just locked it away in box to give to her at a later date.

* * *

_Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times_

_ I watched you laughing from the passenger side_

_ And realized I loved you in the fall _

* * *

She looks up at him to see him pleading with her. His eyes wide, begging, 'don't reject me, please.' But how could she possibly let him back into her life. It was hard enough, and he had left her once, how did she know he wouldn't do it again, if a better offer walked by.

She thought back to the day in the park. Exactly 13 years ago that day. The day she realised she loved him. They had gone to Hyde Park with a picnic by the lake. The had sat by the water, adn she splashed him for somethin or other and he splashed her back, until they were soon drenched. Ben then smirked at her before pulling her into the lake and laughing at her when she surfaced, looking utterly shocked.

His eyes caught hers and for a second, nothing moved, nothing lived. It was just them. Ben and Nellie. Nellie and Ben, together. She couldn't remember who moved forward first, all she remembers is his lips falling to hers, locking her in a kiss. Her first proper kiss. He had kissed her cheek and hand before, but never on the mouth.

It was then she realised she loved him, and he knew that he loved her. But neither could bring themselves to say it outloud.

* * *

_And then the cold came, the dark days_

_ When fear crept into my mind _

_You gave me all your love, _

_and all __I gave you was goodbye _

* * *

He was rememberin too, smiling at the memory, but his face darkened when he remembered the day ahdn't ended so perfectly. He returned her home all wet, causing her to get into a lot of trouble with her mother, and her face shouted at him, telling him to stay away. How his daughter would never marry a barbers son, how his daughter was engaged to the baker. It had broken him in a way he didn't think possible. Nellie hadn't told him, she hadn't known. He didn't believe her, but she snuck out in the middle of the night and ran to his room, climbing in the window, her face wet with tears swearing she hadn't known. He believed her. No one woman would dare o out at night in London to protect a lie.

She told him that she had to go through with it, not because she wanted to, hell no, she was hoping this would cause him to propose, but nothing. He just lay there, telling her she didn't have to do it, but he offered no other option.

* * *

_So this is me swallowing my pride_

_ Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night_

_ And I go back to December all the time_

* * *

Ben soon realised the reason she had been so upset, he needed to marry her, it was the only way to assure their happiness, but he had nothing and besides, by the time he realised what he needed to do, Nellie had already moved in with Albert, he had been given a bride and she was set to marry the bastard in two days. He needed to end it, end everything. So he left his house with roses in hand, his heart breaking knwing this would be the last time they saw each other.

* * *

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_

_ Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine _

_I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind _

_I go back to December all the time _

* * *

"I haven't lived Nell, not properly, not really. I missed you, almost enough to leave, leave everything, sneck in one night and whisk you away, stay hidden from the world forever." He said, not noticing how close he was to tears until now.

"Me neither love, bu' wha' could we do? I ha'ed ya I did, leavin' me like 'at, bu' I knew there weren't another option." She said and he snorted, drawing a small smile from her.

How he had missed her smile, he didn't know how much he needed her until he saw that.

* * *

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile _

_So good to me, so right _

_And how I held you in my arms that September night_

_ The first time I ever saw you cry_

* * *

She quickly stopped smiling, knowing she needed to show no emotion. She couldn't have him back, it would be too hard, to painful if he left.

His smile left his face when he saw her face go back to being impassive and he sighed, missing the old Nellie. The one who showed her emotions so often, they way she laughed at his fumbling, the way she cried when she had been told she would marry Albert. That was the first time he had ever seen her cry, it was also the last.

He knew now, that pang in his heart when he saw her sad face that he loved her, that he had never stopped, but she didn't seem to care.

* * *

_Maybe this is wishful thinking _

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_ But if we loved again,_

_ I swear I'd love you right_

* * *

"Nell, please-I-I love you. I do, and I need you. What I did, it was stupid, stupid and pointless. I swear, I swear that I will love you right. I won't run off and I won't leave you ever. I swear on my life, please believe me Nellie." He said, standing from his seat and going to hers, kneeling at her feet, taking her hands in his and looking up into her eyes. For a second he saw a flash of hope before she turned away.

"I can'. If ya were ta leave me, I'd die. It were 'ard enough firs' time, doin' it again would kill me Ben." She muttered, pulling a hand away to wipe her tear.

* * *

_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't _

_So if the chain is on your door, I understand _

* * *

"Please? One chance, a last one. I love you! I'll never leave you Nellie, ever. Never again, just please-let me prove it to you. Marry me, please be my wife." He whispered and she froze.

"Do ya mean it Ben?" She said, fighting to not cry, but this was difficult.

"Eleanor Lovett, I love you, every single part of me loves you, and I want you to be mine forever and always. Please do me the honour of becoming my wife." He said and she let out a strangled sob before falling into him wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Yes Ben, yes! A thousands times! I love you, never stopped! I love you Ben, I love you." She cried as he held her their, stunned at her response. He was the happiest man alive, and he didn't even bother to wipe his tears.

* * *

_This is me swallowing my pride _

_Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night _

_And I go back to December _

_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you _

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine _

_I go back to December, turn around and make it alright_

_ I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind _

_I go back to December all the time, all the time _

* * *

**Well? My first song fic and it's a Taylor Swift one! Wooooo! Tell me what you think by pressing the blue button :P **

**Ellie xox**


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